Living with bipolar disorder means showing up for yourself first. Here’s how I stay focused, strong, and grounded.
Too often, self-care gets painted as a luxury — bubble baths, scented candles, or meditating in silence. For many men, that image can feel out of reach or even unappealing, as though caring for yourself means admitting weakness. But when you’re managing work, family, and mental health — especially with bipolar disorder — self-care becomes a form of strength, not fragility.
Self-care isn’t about winding down; it’s a core part of living with clarity and stability. For me, it all started with a strong desire to feel something more than just okay. I wanted to experience contentment — maybe even happiness. That passion became the engine that helped drive change.
Here are 6 practices that helped me build a stronger foundation, one step at a time.
1. Start With the Basics: Follow Your Treatment Plan
Self-care begins with a commitment to follow your doctor’s treatment plan, especially taking prescribed medication. Balancing your brain’s biochemistry is the foundation for everything else.
Too often, people want to start building without laying a solid foundation. But in my life, nothing truly changed until I took that step seriously. I had to face the reality that my brain chemistry needed help. That didn’t mean I was weak — it meant I had a medical condition that needed consistent care. It takes real strength to recognize that need and take action to meet it.
2. Let Your Vision Drive You
The next step in caring for yourself is visualizing what it will be like to actually attain your deepest desire. That vision is what sparks hope. As it says in Proverbs, “Without a vision, the people perish” (Prov. 29:18).
When I was a boy, I dreamed of playing Major League Baseball and standing on the pitcher’s mound as the crowd roared after a World Series win. That dream gave me drive and focus. I practiced every day with purpose, even though the odds were long. I never did make it to the majors, but that vision helped me become the best player I could be — and taught me discipline, resilience, and joy in the process.
In the same way, when you picture a life that’s stable, purposeful, and joyful — even in the face of bipolar — it gives you something to move toward. That vision becomes your “why.” You may not reach a “perfect” life, but it can still be a very good one.
3. Make a Plan and Track It
You’ve got to have a plan — and more than that, you need to be able to measure your progress. Journaling helped me keep track not only of what I did, but also of how I felt while doing it. It gave me insight into patterns and helped me adjust when things didn’t go right.
Even more than a plan, I had to adopt a mindset: No matter what comes, don’t give up.
That mindset was tested when I finally admitted what I wanted to do with my life. A friend asked me, “If you could do anything right now, what would it be?”
I said, “I’d work with people who are struggling with manic depression.”
“Then start,” he said.
So I did. I filled out applications. I went to dozens of interviews. I got rejection after rejection. But I kept showing up. Eventually, I was offered an entry-level job at a residential treatment program. It wasn’t glamorous. I wasn’t working exclusively with individuals with bipolar. But I was in the mental health field. And it was a beginning.
4. Be Ready for Setbacks
Plans are important. But so are contingency plans — because life will throw curveballs.
That means having practical tools to help me reset when things feel overwhelming:
- A change of scenery, like walking in the park or driving to the beach
- Calming music or time in quiet reflection
- Engaging in something that absorbs my attention, like painting or writing
- Reaching out to a friend or mentor who will just listen, without judgment
Self-expression is a way to process what I’m going through — and reminds me that I still have a voice, even on hard days.
5. Remove Triggers That Sabotage Self-Care
Some of the greatest threats to self-care come from within. That includes things like:
- Trying to gain your sense of worth by fixing the people around you
- Saying yes too often and failing to set boundaries
- Getting trapped in irrational fears and “what if” scenarios
I learned this lesson the hard way. Someone once asked me what I do when someone pushes my panic button. I said, “I drop everything and try to help.”
“Even if it’s not in their best interest?” they asked.
That stopped me in my tracks. I’d never considered that my actions — even well-intentioned — could actually prevent someone from helping themselves. Or worse, put me in danger emotionally or physically.
It reminded me that love doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It means having the courage to say no when needed — and setting healthy limits.
And when it comes to fear and anxiety? A wise mentor once told me something I’ve never forgotten: “Fear and anxiety are rarely based on facts. They’re fueled by ‘what if’ questions — and those disappear when we face reality and focus on the solution.”
6. The Heart of Self-Care: Love in Action
All of the tools and plans I’ve mentioned are part of the structure of self-care. But what lies at the foundation, in my view, is love — not the kind you see in movies, but the real thing.
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)
True self-care is rooted in character. It’s not about indulging yourself — it’s about taking care of yourself so you can show up for others. That kind of love is patient. It’s kind. It’s not arrogant or self-serving. It’s steady, generous, and enduring.
1 Corinthians 13 says it best: “Love is not easily provoked … it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
But I’ll be honest: That kind of love is only sustainable when my own mental health is in check. That’s why taking medication and following my treatment plan is non-negotiable. When my biochemistry is balanced, I’m better able to love and serve others with a clear head and full heart.
One Last Thought for the Men Reading This
Taking care of yourself — especially while living with bipolar — is not a sign of weakness. It’s a form of strength. Everyone has something to offer. You’re not here by accident. There’s a role only you can fill.
So wherever you are on your journey, I encourage you to start with just one thing. One step. One change. And see where it leads. You may be surprised how far you can go.
