During bipolar depression, gratitude can feel out of reach. Here’s how embracing it can shift your perspective.
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘Thank you,’ that would suffice,” Meister Eckhart, a German philosopher and theologian who lived from 1260 –1328, was known to have said.
For me, gratitude is a skill that requires practice. It can be especially challenging when dealing with a bipolar diagnosis and its symptoms. When I am in the depths of bipolar depression, feeling thankful is the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I’m more likely to feel anger, injustice, self-pity, or just plain apathy.
But you know what I’ve learned? That’s okay. Over the past two decades, I’ve become much more compassionate with myself — and my feelings about my mental health condition.
RELATED: The Power of Positive Thinking in Bipolar Stability
Bipolar disorder is a brain-based condition. Detaching from the shame and stigma that often surround it is both necessary and very challenging. I’ve found that piling on shame and self-disgust only intensifies and prolongs my symptoms. That’s where gratitude comes in.
How New Perspectives Can Lead to Gratitude
So why is gratitude important? I’ve found that practicing it helps shift my perspective on life’s “problems.”
A few springs ago, I volunteered to prepare taxes for low-income individuals and families. I realized that my financial stress paled compared to what many of them faced. I was almost embarrassed by how much I had complained about my financial worries.
When I saw people struggling to pay rent, provide food for their families, and lacking support, I suddenly felt grateful for my resources, no matter how limited. I was especially grateful for my family, who had supported me when things fell completely apart. I knew I would never be homeless or hungry because of them. Yes, others may be better off financially, but I learned what real poverty looks like, and that was a profound moment for me.
Another perspective change came when I began working more with people diagnosed with mental health conditions. Seeing the severity and disability others experienced reminded me that I’m not alone in my struggles and that my bipolar disorder could be far more severe. That, too, was a moment of gratitude.
RELATED: Why I’m Thankful for My Bipolar Diagnosis
So these instances made me think:
- Why does it take such extreme examples for me to feel gratitude?
- How can I practice gratitude more often in my life?
- What are the benefits I have felt from practicing gratitude?
The Benefits of Practicing Gratitude When You Have Bipolar Disorder
I’ve found that gratitude is a skill that must be practiced; it doesn’t come easily or automatically. But through practicing gratitude, I’ve experienced more joy in my life. My problems seem smaller, and I gain a better perspective on my situation and hardships.
I’ve also been able to focus more on the positives rather than constantly dwelling on the negatives. I’m reminded of the good things I’ve experienced and what I have access to. No matter how bad things get or how far back I look, I’ve always had good things in my life.
Practicing gratitude also allows me to be more appreciative of what I have and more able to acknowledge it. I’ve said “thank you” and “I love you” more often, and I’ve received so much love in return. Saying “I love you” to a family member — and hearing it back — fills my heart with emotion and joy.
How to Make Gratitude a Habit
So, how do I make my gratitude mindset a consistent and regular habit? Here are just three ways.
1. Help Others, Especially If You’re Dealing With Bipolar Depression
For me, helping others is one of the best ways to maintain a healthy perspective and remind myself how much I can choose to be grateful. My biggest lessons in gratitude have come from helping those in need, people who are less fortunate than myself.
2. Express Love and Thanks Openly to Feel Better
Another way I practice gratitude is by expressing my feelings of thanks and appreciation toward others in the moment. Saying “thank you” and “I love you” goes a long way for me and, hopefully, for the other person, too. I no longer assume people know how I feel — I make sure to tell them.
3. Make a Gratitude List, Even During Depression
The final way I put gratitude into action is by making a gratitude list, even when I’m in the depths of the worst bipolar depression. Both my AA sponsor and therapist suggested it to me.
I was hesitant (and maybe even a little bit stubborn) to try this one, but I’ve found it really does help. Even when I’m severely depressed, it makes a difference — maybe just a little, but any forward progress is a step in the right direction.
Sometimes, even a small shift in perspective is enough to help me get through a particularly tough day. “One day at a time,” right? That’s what I’ve learned.
Practice Gratitude as an Ongoing Habit
These gratitude practices are just a starting point. I’m continually exploring new ways to deepen my practice, and I encourage you to do the same. Let’s explore together how gratitude can transform our lives.
Living with bipolar can seem overwhelming — and even excruciating at times — but we can find ways to thrive. I believe those of us with bipolar disorder are stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. Let’s make that the first thing we’re grateful for.
I’d love to hear about your gratitude practice, too.
UPDATED: Originally posted August 31, 2020