Learn how to stay attuned to your mood, set gentle limits, and make this holiday season healthier and less overwhelming with bipolar disorder.
At holiday time, there is a childlike anticipation of good times: the parties, the jingle in the malls, the shopping, the food, and — my favorite — snow.
But challenges abound. Routines are out the window, sleep is disturbed, alcohol flows, and the treats brought into the office are just so tempting.
Living with bipolar disorder during the holidays is often not easy.
What Is It About the Holidays That Makes Them Such a Difficult Time?
There are two main challenges I see my patients struggling with around the holidays.
One is impulsivity — the tendency to do things on the spur of the moment, often with limited regard for consequences; even when manic or depressive syndrome is not present, sometimes sub-syndromal or mild symptoms persist and drive actions.
RELATED: Real-Life Advice on Getting Through the Holidays
The second is reactivity — the tendency to respond with extreme intensity to external stimuli; good things take one “over the top,” and bad things do the polar opposite.
What Can I Do to Stay Well Yet Still Have Some Fun?
First and foremost, prioritize your health. Avoid changing your medications without talking to your healthcare provider, and contact them right away if you feel a change in mood coming on.
Also, plan, prioritize, and avoid impulsive activity (this includes spending!). If there are things that can be done in advance, do them. Gifts? Create a shopping list and a budget and stick to it — don’t procrastinate and then panic and overspend at the last minute. A whole new outfit? Fine if you can afford it — but even an inexpensive new scarf, tie, or earrings may be enough of a treat to satisfy that “something new” urge.
Can You Recommend Some Survival Strategies?
Plan for minimizing a reactive response by using the following tips:
- Plan for fun events. Look your best — it feels good! Think carefully about what you actually prefer to do, and whose company you truly desire. Identify the “required” duties and plan to seek common ground in the conversations, avoiding controversial topics that invariably lead to arguments. Compliment your host and family. Ask about the kids. Smile.
- Don’t overdo it. Carve out personal time for yourself. If you need a break, say so: “I really need an hour or so on my own to recharge.” Have a rational reason handy for declining (or leaving) an event early; discuss your strategy for extricating yourself, if needed, with a trusted family member.
- Have a “go-to” list of activities that relax you, like movies, music, or a book. Find a new coffee shop in another neighborhood. It is often restful to sit and relax in a calm, neutral environment after a stimulating activity.
- Tell your family and friends how much they mean to you. Find a new board game to play with a willing child, and play it over and over (and over again) with them. You are making memories!
Once the Holidays Are Over, Then What?
After the holidays, many feel a sense of letdown. Credit card statements start appearing, the grim reality of winter sets in, life feels flat and stale, and somehow a few extra pounds have found their way to your bathroom scale … It can be hard to know if one is headed for a full-blown depressive episode or just a few difficult days.
RELATED: Ask the Doctor: Holiday Hints for Mood Management
Develop a post-holiday strategy and discuss it with a close friend or family member. Do they think you are getting depressed? Invite them to go with you to your healthcare provider.
It is a good idea to schedule an appointment soon after the holidays to review your progress, identify needs for the current month and year, and set new goals. If you overdo it, forgive yourself and take the appropriate steps to move forward.
UPDATED: Printed as “Ask the doctor: Holiday strategies,” Fall 2016
