From disrupted sleep to longer days, spring once triggered my mood episodes. Here’s how I manage bipolar symptoms today by maintaining daily habits.
More light. More possibilities. Who doesn’t get excited about the advent of spring?
Yet I didn’t make the connection between springtime and the onset of my former manic episodes until 2014. At the time, I was researching and writing an article about how — for those with bipolar disorder — the changing of the seasons can translate into vulnerability to mania or hypomania.
I vaguely knew “circadian rhythms” had to do with our body’s internal clock. I didn’t know that individuals with bipolar tend toward shaky circadian rhythms, which could more easily go off-kilter and trigger symptoms.
My bipolar symptoms began when I was 18 years old. Of the seven manic episodes I experienced as a young adult, every single one began when my college’s spring semester ended. And my two “relapses,” years later, began in March.
How ‘Free’ Time Triggered My Bipolar Mood Episodes
During the spring semester, my schedule was packed with nonstop studying and juggling part-time jobs. Fortunately, even with those jobs, my schedule demanded that I get to bed by midnight — at the absolute latest — to wake up at 7 a.m. the next day.
And, every year, the spring semester abruptly ended in mid-May, along with one of my part-time jobs. Suddenly, I would find myself with three months of a loose routine, working only 20-odd hours a week.
It never, ever occurred to me that having all waking hours committed to working and school, such a strict schedule, agreed with me far more than having extra free time.
Free time gave me an opportunity to catch up on all the partying I had put on hold for nine months. Partying that provided access to alcohol and street drugs — which, unbeknownst to me, could trigger or hasten mood episodes.
Depression Onset After a Changed Sleep Schedule
What initially triggered my springtime episodes was probably the combination of the abrupt change in my sleep schedule and smoking more than the occasional cigarette on the weekend. With all the rushing around between working and college classes, smoking cigarettes during the week proved to be too complicated during the semester.
With all my free time, though, I could smoke as I wished.
I didn’t connect my changed sleep schedule with the mild depression I began to experience. Nor did I connect increased nicotine, a stimulant, with increased symptoms of anxiety, such as being hyperaware.
Now I know how to prevent and fight off the pain of mild depression before it develops further — but, back then, when seconds began to last for hours and brain fog and anxiety set in, I would turn to cigarettes, tranquilizers, and street drugs to escape the discomfort. I didn’t know I was only exacerbating my symptoms.
The Impact of Daylight Saving Time on Mood
Every fall and every spring, when the time abruptly changes, I tell myself, “This year, it is not going to affect me.”
And, for a few days, it doesn’t. Then I just feel a little “off,” as if I have been jolted off-center. This lasts for a couple of weeks.
The difference is that now I don’t panic, I know why I feel a little off, and I have a number of self-care strategies to ease myself back to equilibrium.
More light not only impacts my already-shaky circadian rhythms but also influences the activities available to me and when I get to bed. More light means more options. And there are always summer get-togethers, summer concerts, summer parties, summer bonfires. If I didn’t manage them, there were also summer symptoms.
Awareness Makes a Difference
I’ve joked that the treatment I received upon first being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18 was akin to telling someone with diabetes not to worry about what they eat, not to worry about exercising, but to simply test their blood sugar 30 times a day.
I don’t know how anyone can successfully manage bipolar disorder without understanding circadian rhythms and how their daily habits influence symptoms.
This awareness and knowledge are paramount for mood management.
And it was information I did not have available to me when I received my diagnosis and began my college years.
When My Bipolar Episodes Returned
During the Great Recession, I was laid off. It was toward the end of September 2008. I was newly separated, but I had solid work experience and recommendations. At first, I wasn’t worried about getting a new job. But by spring of 2009, six months of unemployment and umpteen applications later, I became anxious.
- How staying up later set the stage for mood shifts. I wasn’t staying up all night, but I was staying up later than I could when I was working full-time and had to get up between 5 and 6 a.m. every morning. If I was on a roll with writing or reading something interesting, I would hit that second wind and not get to bed until 1 a.m.
- How increased smoking affected my sleep and stability. By springtime, for the first time in my life, I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. In retrospect, that increased nicotine made it harder to get to sleep. However, at the time, I viewed nicotine as a “baby drug.” I did not put it in the “potentially-to-threaten-my-mental-health” bucket.
- How sleep debt built up without me realizing it. I still had to get up every morning by 6:45, at the latest, to get the kids ready for kindergarten and fourth grade. I planned to get back to sleep for an hour or two before returning to the “quest for a job,” but, most of the time, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I thought “catching up” on the weekends would take care of it. But I was building up a “sleep debt.” I didn’t realize that keeping a consistent sleep schedule and daily routines mattered a lot.
The Relationship Between Spring and Mania
My 2009 relapse lasted from the end of March to the beginning of July. It turned me into a part-time mental-health journalist because, after so many years of avoiding relapse, I thought I knew what I was doing. Today, I’m far more conscious of my daily routine, my springtime vulnerability, and my sleep schedule — even despite having my work schedule upended in the summer of 2020.
Although my work hours now vary, I keep to a similar schedule. If I’m out late to experience a glorious outdoor, physically distanced, summer concert, I’ll make up the sleep the very next night instead of waiting for the weekend.
I may not have been provided any guidance on the lifestyle aspect of managing bipolar when I was first diagnosed, but with experience and time, I’ve learned how to navigate both seasonal changes and big life changes without risking my mood stability.
Learn more about ways to manage spring mania on bpHope’s network site Everyday Health.
UPDATED: Originally posted April 13, 2021
