The Switch is a video series sharing positive lifestyles and health routines to help you thrive while living with HIV. Listen to our guests living with HIV talk candidly about the positive switches they have made in their daily lives, including their approach to HIV treatment. Watch more episodes here.
“There’s so much for you to gain after your diagnosis,” Ocean Engineering Ph.D. Eric Nieves said.
At 23, while juggling grad school finals and a rocky relationship, Nieves was blindsided by his HIV diagnosis.
“It came in threes,” he recalled. “It was tough to process.”
After a confirmation test, reality set in — and so did grief. Thankfully, Nieves’ mother, who worked with HIV patients at the Department of Veterans Affairs, became his unexpected guide.
“She was really a champion for me,” Nieves said. “She guided me from genetic testing to getting my first dose of medication.”
Long before his diagnosis, Nieves struggled with self-worth. HIV didn’t create those insecurities — it magnified them.
“HIV is a conversation I have to have with anyone I want to be intimate with,” he explained. “You can’t run from that.”
Instead of retreating, Nieves leaned into vulnerability as a strength.
“Whenever you decide to display vulnerability, you’re favoring yourself,” he said. “Some people are going to punish you for that, but you’re also going to be rewarded”
Nieves found that vulnerability opened unexpected doors. After one of his first public talks about his HIV status, a man pushed through the crowd to thank him for helping him process his bipolar disorder diagnosis.
“It unlocked this incredible source of empathy,” Nieves said.
At first, he felt pressure to be the “perfect” advocate every time he disclosed his status — as if he carried the responsibility of representing the entire HIV-positive community in each interaction.
“I felt like I needed that perfection in order to be accepted,” he said.
Eventually, Nieves realized this mindset was unsustainable.
“I needed to honor my emotions,” Nieves explained. “Some days I wanted to fight ignorance and have those discussions; other days, I didn’t want to deal with it — and that was okay!”
Reentering the dating world was another steep climb. Nieves described it as “a whole beast.”
Early on, he felt “very unlovable,” believing no one would want to be with someone carrying such a heavy disclosure. But over time, he reframed dating as a way to measure others’ capacity for compassion.
“Instead of thinking, ‘How am I good for other people?’ I thought, ‘How are people good for me?’” he said. “The way people responded to your vulnerability was a big indicator of who they were.”
He recalled seeing serodiscordant couples — where one partner was HIV-positive and the other was negative — living fully and happily.
“I realized if I didn’t give someone a chance because they were undetectable and had HIV, I could be missing out on a life partner,” he said.
That shift helped Nieves reclaim agency in his love life and recognize his own worth.
Treatment was another important chapter in his journey. Nieves started with daily pills and then a few years ago, he switched to bimonthly injections.
“Six times a year I take some injections,” he said. “It really had a lot of benefits for just letting me live my life.”
After his diagnosis, Nieves began to focus more on hobbies and self-care practices that brought him joy. He poured himself into piano and vocal lessons, studied new languages, and hit the gym regularly.
“My life just had much more texture that I prioritized as a result of going through this experience,” he said. “In many ways, I was much happier than I ever was before.”
When asked what advice he would give to anyone struggling to reclaim color in their life after a setback — whether an HIV diagnosis, a personal loss, or another curveball — Nieves didn’t hesitate.
“There was nothing linear about healing,” he said. “Even on the days where you had a bad experience, it was another opportunity to refocus on the positivity in your life.”
As for what kept him going? Nieves offered one final reminder:
“You are not doing it alone — you still have so much life to live.”