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Hypersexuality is a common bipolar symptom. These 6 couple-friendly tips help you spot patterns, set boundaries, and get support.
Key Takeaways
- Hypersexuality can spike during mania or hypomania, creating intense, hard-to-control urges that can strain trust in relationships.
- Plan ahead: notice early warning signs, name triggers, and agree on boundaries and a neutral way to talk.
- Mood stabilizers and therapy (like CBT) can reduce episode-driven urges; getting help early can limit harm and support repair.
- Partners should raise concerns outside of conflict or mood episodes, using calm, non-shaming language focused on shared safety.
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Hypersexuality is a common part of bipolar disorder, yet it remains one of the hardest symptoms to discuss — both in the doctor’s office and at home.
Some research suggests hypersexuality affects roughly 57 percent of people living with bipolar during manic or hypomanic episodes. Cleveland Clinic describes it as sexual thoughts and urges that feel very hard to control and keep happening even when they cause problems. During a mood episode, this can show up suddenly as a powerful drive for sex, seeking multiple partners, or a fixation on pornography.
The emotional fallout can be intense. Many people feel these behaviors are completely “out of character,” leaving them with deep shame and confusion once the episode passes. Partners often view these sudden indiscretions as personal betrayal rather than a symptom of illness, creating a cycle of hurt and mistrust.
If the compulsive side of hypersexuality is straining your relationship, you are not alone. Honest conversations, early warning plans, and professional support can help protect both your relationship and your well-being.
6 Strategies for Managing Hypersexuality in Relationships
While you cannot always prevent the urges, you can prepare for how to handle them. Use these strategies to keep your relationship steady during an episode.
1. Recognize the Compulsive Nature
The compulsive and obsessive nature of hypersexuality can mirror the experiences of those struggling with substance use disorders. This impulse is among the more challenging aspects of bipolar disorder because it can severely damage relationships.
When infidelity occurs, it deeply affects both partners. The person living with bipolar may feel overwhelming guilt for hurting their partner, compounded by the distress of feeling unable to control their actions. Recognizing that this behavior is a symptom of a brain-based disorder, rather than a moral failing, is the first step toward management.
2. Manage Hypersexual Thoughts and Urges
When you first notice signs of hypersexual thoughts or behaviors, it’s crucial to seek support to manage bipolar disorder. Without effective treatment, sexual behaviors can become erratic. Addressing your bipolar symptoms — especially hypomania and mania — can also help manage hypersexuality.
Treatment options may include medications like mood stabilizers or antipsychotics, along with cognitive behavioral therapy and family counseling. Work with your clinician to build a “when urges spike” plan — which might include adjusting treatment, adding therapy supports, and putting practical guardrails in place, like reducing exposure to triggers, limiting substances, or taking a break from certain Internet sites.
3. Identify Your Personal Triggers
What does hypersexuality mean for you? For many, it involves insatiable and irresistible cravings for sex. These urges can feel unending, with constant yearning throughout the day and an overwhelming compulsion to act on these impulses.
Recognizing how this symptom presents in your life is crucial. By understanding your patterns, you’ll know when it’s time to seek help or discuss how to implement your prepared strategy with your partner. This plan might include adjusting your daily routine, focusing on reducing stress and enhancing relaxation, and promptly reaching out to your healthcare provider at the first signs of hypersexuality.
4. Prioritize Open Communication
In your relationship, it’s crucial for both you and your partner to discuss everything related to hypersexuality openly. First, however, you should both educate yourselves about the nature of these compulsions. Understanding the specifics of mania and hypersexuality, how it personally affects you, and the available treatment options is essential.
Together, you’ll need to establish boundaries and have frank discussions about how bipolar might affect your sex life, including potential risks like sexually transmitted infections. Developing a clear plan is critical in these discussions. Even when hypersexuality is a symptom, you can still take steps to keep yourself and your relationship safe, including sticking with your treatment plan and reaching out for support as soon as you notice warning signs.
5. Seek Professional Support Together
In order to resolve sex-related challenges in the relationship, getting help from a therapist or sex therapist, in addition to your regular medical team, is important for both you and your partner.
Talking with someone who has expertise with bipolar and hypersexuality can be extremely beneficial. Plus, it can help you deal with the shame and stigma you may be experiencing, too.
Treatment could involve some combination of couples therapy, psychotherapy, family therapy, and support groups.
6. Act Early to Protect Your Relationship
Many people may feel shame or humiliation in seeking help for hypersexuality. Some may even enjoy the intense feelings associated with their sexuality but struggle to control the compulsive and destructive aspects of their behavior.
However, it’s crucial that you don’t put off getting help if you’re unable to treat these symptoms on your own and it’s negatively impacting your life. If hypersexuality is starting to feel unmanageable or is hurting your relationship, reaching out sooner can make a real difference. With the right treatment and support, many people learn to manage these urges and protect — or rebuild — trust over time.
For Partners: Raising Concerns With Care
If you are the partner of someone living with bipolar, addressing hypersexuality can feel intimidating. It is essential to raise your concerns safely and without shame.
Choose a calm, neutral time to talk — never during an argument or in the heat of a manic or hypomanic episode. Frame the conversation around your relationship and shared well-being rather than using accusatory language. You might say, “I’ve noticed some changes in our intimacy that worry me, and I want us to figure this out together.” This approach validates your feelings while keeping the door open for support and solutions.
Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking
- Sex Addiction, Hypersexuality and Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Cleveland Clinic. 2022.
- Hall-Flavin DK. Antidepressants: Which Cause the Fewest Sexual Side Effects? Mayo Clinic. January 25, 2020.
- Heare MR et al. A Case of Mania Presenting With Hypersexual Behavior and Gender Dysphoria That Resolved With Valproic Acid. Mental Illness. November 23, 2016.
- Krogh HB et al. Bipolar Disorder and Sexuality: A Preliminary Qualitative Pilot Study. International Journal of Bipolar Disorders. February 3, 2023.
UPDATED: Originally posted May 5, 2017
