Post Views: 104,964
Views
You are not your worst thoughts. These practical tools can help you challenge self-criticism, hopelessness, and fear.
Bipolar disorder has a way of playing tricks on your mind, especially when you’re caught in the depths of a mood episode.
When depression or anxiety sets in, negative thoughts can take over. It can feel like your mind is stuck on repeat, and those harsh, self-critical thoughts just keep coming. These distorted thoughts not only hurt your self-esteem but also deepen your sadness, which can make it harder to feel better.
The encouraging part? Even though these thoughts feel powerful, they are not always true, and they will not last forever. You can start to notice them, question them, and slowly change your thinking to be more realistic and hopeful. It takes time and effort, but with patience, practice, and kindness toward yourself, it can get better.
You’re not alone in this. There are practical things you can do to loosen the hold of negative thinking. Here are 6 strategies to help you start breaking the cycle:
1. Distinguish Your Feelings From the Facts
Bipolar mood episodes can cloud your perspective. When you’re depressed, it may feel like life is hopeless — but it’s important to remember that these thoughts are symptoms of bipolar disorder, not reflections of reality.
“In other words, it’s the depression talking, not an objective picture of your situation,” psychologist Elizabeth Saenger, PhD, explains. She recommends thinking back to a time when you felt more hopeful about the future — and reminding yourself that the way you saw your life then was likely closer to the truth.
Even writing down those more hopeful moments — what you believed about yourself or your future — can help you reconnect with a fuller, more balanced view. Your current feelings are valid and deserve compassion, even if they’re based on thoughts that might not be accurate. Feelings are important, but they don’t have the final say — they’re part of the picture, not the whole story.
2. Make Room for a Positive Perspective
It’s so easy to zero in on what’s going wrong — the mistake you made last week, the plan that fell apart, the symptom you can’t shake. When you’re living with bipolar disorder, this kind of thinking can become automatic, especially during a depressive episode. You might forget your strengths, your progress, and all the things you’ve handled with courage.
“When you disregard the positive, and instead, concentrate on the unfortunate aspects of a situation — dwelling on setbacks and forgetting your victories — you do yourself a tremendous disservice,” says Dr. Saenger.
Here’s something to try: When your inner critic gets loud, pause and ask what a caring friend might say. Maybe it’s, “You’ve gotten through hard things before,” or, “Struggling doesn’t erase your progress.”
Imagining that kind voice can help shift your perspective. You don’t need to pretend everything’s fine — just gently refocus on hope, growth, and the small wins. Over time, those small shifts really do add up.
3. Ban Overgeneralized Thoughts From Your Line of Thinking
When you’re feeling low or overwhelmed, your brain can jump to extremes. One bad day becomes “I’ll never be good at anything.” One unanswered text spirals into “Nobody cares about me.” Sound familiar?
These overgeneralizations turn a single painful moment into a sweeping judgment. They might feel true, especially during a depressive or mixed episode, but that doesn’t mean they are true.
Words like always, never, nobody, and everybody are red flags. When you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll always feel this way,” pause and ask, “Is that really true? What proof do I have?”
It takes practice to challenge these thoughts, but doing so can help you see things more clearly — and treat yourself with the compassion you truly deserve.
4. Create Alternatives to Mind-Reading
When you’re feeling depressed or anxious, it’s easy to assume the worst about what others are thinking. If someone doesn’t text back, your mind might jump to, “They’re mad at me,” or “I must have done something wrong.” That’s called mind-reading — drawing conclusions without real evidence.
The truth? Most people are caught up in their own world. They may not have seen your message, or they’re distracted, busy, or going through something themselves. But when you’re feeling vulnerable, it’s hard not to take things personally.
Saenger suggests a simple exercise to break this cycle. Take a piece of paper and divide it into three columns:
- First column: Write the behavior that upset you.
- Second: Note your automatic thought — what you assumed.
- Third: List two or three other possible explanations.
For example:
- Behavior: A friend walks past without saying hello.
- Automatic Thought: “They’re ignoring me because they’re upset.”
- Alternative Explanations: “They didn’t see me.” “They were distracted.” “They had a lot on their mind.”
Seeing these side by side helps you step back and reassess. It’s a simple, gentle way to protect your peace of mind — and remind yourself that not everything is personal.
5. Nix the Black-and-White Type of Thinking for Shades of Gray
When your mood is low, it’s easy to fall into all-or-nothing thinking — you’re either a success or a failure, lovable or unworthy. This mental trap leaves no room for the messy, very human middle ground where most of us actually live.
You might think, “If I can’t do it perfectly, why try?” or “I had a bad day, so I must be a failure.” These thoughts feel real, but they’re not.
As blogger Laura Fisher puts it, “Depression is a liar.” She writes, “It was such a convincing liar that I believed I didn’t deserve my friends, my family, or happiness.” She adds, “If someone else were struggling, I’d show them compassion — but I couldn’t offer that to myself.”
Remind yourself: No one is all one thing. You can struggle and still be worthy. When you catch black-and-white thinking, try asking, “What would I say to someone I care about?” That’s where the gray lives — in honesty, balance, and self-kindness.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be human — and that’s enough.
6. Interrupt Catastrophizing and Worst-Case-Scenario Thinking
Catastrophizing is when a small problem mushrooms into a worst-case scenario in your mind. A sore throat becomes pneumonia. A mistake at work turns into getting fired and losing everything.
This kind of thinking often shows up with bipolar-related anxiety or racing thoughts, where one worry snowballs into a chain of imagined disasters.
When this happens, pause and ask yourself:
- How likely is each step in this chain to actually happen?
- And how realistic is it that they’d all happen together?
You’ll usually find the answer is: not very. Your concern may be valid, but your brain has jumped too far ahead. Breaking the spiral helps bring your focus back to the present — where you have far more control than the imagined outcome suggests.
bpHope blogger Andrea Paquette says she uses various strategies, including meditation, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to help her stop catastrophizing.
Says Paquette, “I can tell you from experience that it’s possible to reclaim your peace of mind, reduce the intensity of your fears, and live a life filled with the joy and fulfillment you deserve.”
UPDATED: Originally published March 20, 2017
