For some people with bipolar, manic energy can turn decluttering into a risky, regret-filled spiral.
If you go into my mom’s garage, you might see a bag full of dishes and clothes. Another bag may hold noodles, rice, and a few cans of food. You may even see a tub filled with jewelry supplies and crochet yarn.
It looks like my mom is getting ready for a garage sale, but she isn’t. Can you guess what’s going on here?
It’s my mania. When I enter a state of agitated mania, the urge to discard items in my house becomes overwhelming. It feels as though all my possessions are closing in on me, forcing me to push them out.
My mania insists there is too much food in the fridge and freezer. I start to wonder if I really need more than two plates or two forks and knives. I question if I will ever cook those noodles or use all those wine glasses. My bipolar brain convinces me I’ll feel better in a minimalist kitchen.
Depending on the strength of the agitation, I can clear out my kitchen in one night and then mop the floor. (Why doesn’t this happen when I actually need to clean?)
Then my manic episode ends, and I realize I’ve given away items I actually need — dishes I use regularly and jewelry supplies that are very expensive to replace. Clothes, shoes, and food are all gone!
Manic Urgency vs. Intentional Decluttering
Intentional decluttering usually comes with reflection, choice, and the ability to pause. You might sort through a closet, think about what you actually use, and decide what to donate over time.
Manic urgency feels different. For me, it arrives suddenly and insists that everything has to go right now. The decision feels obvious, even when it isn’t. That loss of insight is the warning sign: I don’t feel like I’m making a choice. I feel like I’m obeying a command from my mood.
Early Warning Signs the Urge to Purge May Be Mania-Driven
For me, the urge to purge is a mood-swing signal when it shows up with other signs of elevation, such as:
- Agitation or an inability to sit still
- Racing thoughts about how much better life will be with fewer things
- A sudden, intense push toward minimalism that doesn’t match my usual values or habits
- The feeling that I have to act immediately
- Irritation when someone suggests waiting
- An unusually high amount of energy for sorting, packing, cleaning, or reorganizing
- A sense of certainty that I won’t regret giving things away
Why This Happens
It’s a natural symptom of my mania. Mania creates convictions that feel entirely real. It’s that simple. It’s not that I’m confused; I don’t even question my actions. Mania tells me what to do, and I do it. Bipolar chemistry drives the desire to purge everything.
This is where my mom and sister-in-law, Ellen, come in. We have a deal. When mania strikes, and I feel compelled to pack up all the stuff that’s crowding me, I give the bags to them, and my mom stores them in her garage. Eventually, I will go into my kitchen and think, “Where are all of my darn glasses? Did I lend them to someone?” Then my mom tells me, “They’re in the garage, in a bag. Where we always put them.”
A Concrete Coping Plan for Elevated Moods
Life is different now. After years of navigating this, I’ve learned to distinguish between reality and manic impulses. I don’t let myself complete the kitchen purge anymore! When the desire to get rid of my jewelry supplies shows up, I tell myself, “This is mania, Julie. Your thoughts aren’t real. Leave the stuff alone.
I have expanded my plan with these concrete safeguards:
- The 30-Day Rule. I tell myself, “If I still want to give this away in a month, I can, but not today.”
- Offsite Storage. I pack the items, but ask a trusted person to remove them from my sight without donating them yet.
- Vetting Decisions. I involve a friend or family member before any item leaves the property.
I have found that the only way to deal with purging is to manage my mania. We can all learn to recognize our early signs and implement a plan. For me, even a small desire to put things in bags is a sign of a mood swing. I have to focus on managing what’s in my head, not what’s in my kitchen.
If a person with bipolar disorder doesn’t learn to manage the smaller symptoms of a manic state, more disastrous symptoms can take over — such as wanting to abandon relationships, jobs, or even their home. This is how I ended up going to China by myself a few months before I was finally diagnosed!
I’d rather make decisions from a place of stability, not as a result of mania.
I remember the time that Ellen met me for karaoke, wearing a really nice leopard-print velvet scarf with a black feather trim. I looked at it and said, “Wait a minute! I made that scarf!” She replied, “I know. You gave it away, and I gave it a new home!” I asked, “Can I borrow it?” We had a good laugh.Mania has a small treatment window. If we don’t have a plan in place, we may throw our furniture out on the street during a mood swing! We can prevent mania and save our family treasures!
Printed as “Fast Talk: The Urge to Purge,” Fall 2013
